Hope It Gives You Hell
by Lyz135
Summary: This Story, ultimately doesn't really matter until after I finish Family First-But it's been running through my head like crazy, so I have written it down. That also explains why it may seem so choppy and what not. I could use a Beta on this story. If you're interested, please PM me. In this story, we are going to see a completely different Bella, or Isa-as I call her alter ego.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This story is just a backburner story for when I have trouble writing my Main story,** _ **Family First**_ **. I have troubles writing, or in other times, have thoughts that wouldn't fit into my story. So, I was thinking of writing a story that is going to be AU to the original. I do not own anything from Twilight or anything else.**

 **Chapter 1-**

It hurts, almost as if my heart was ripped out and my body was trying to continue without it. It felt like I was dying and coming back from the dead, when he said he didn't want me. He didn't love me.

He… breathe was pushed from my lungs as I gasped.

Didn't… tears were falling down my cheeks and leaving trails in their wake.

Love… the hole that once held my heart was ripped open even more.

Me… my body had curled up as it grieved the loss of my very own Adonis.

And it's been like this, my life was a broken record playing the part of a heartbroken song for the last month and a half. I cried, I ate, I slept, I dreamt, I screamed, and continued this process every night. Every day I watched my body deteriorate as I tried to find something new to distract myself.

Charlie… my dad, he's been my rock through this all. But I have been worrying him, and it appears my own mother couldn't be bothered to make sure I was okay. Just telling him that if he needed a break from me, he could send me there. I had never seen him as disrespectful and angry as that day.

 _Flashback_

 _I was sitting on the couch, holding the cup of hot chocolate my dad had given me, when the house phone started ringing. Charlie had mumbled something incoherently. But had gotten up to go answer it._

 _I could hear the anger slowly seeping into his voice, and at this very moment wished Ed—he had changed me when I had asked so I could hear what my mother was saying to rile up my almost always calm father._

" _NO RENEE! I SIMPLY CANNOT GET RID OF MY DAUGHTER BECAUSE OF HER BROKEN STATE! FOR YOU SIMPLY STATING SOMETHING LIKE THAT SO CARELESSLY, SHOWS HOW MUCH YOU TRULY CARE! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT, YOU PATHETIC FUCKING BITCH!" I stared at the doorway in shock and felt my body to start to warm as I thought of what he said._ "He cared, and my bitch of a mother didn't… why?!"

 _I was still lost in thought when he slammed his phone down on the receiver and walked into the living room. "Daddy…."_

 _Flashback_

It had been a while since I felt normal, and I heard Lauren saying that I was becoming more of a freak at school, now that I lost my controlling boyfriend and his family. That caught me off guard, and I wanted somebody's opinion. Somebody that wasn't biased because I had taken my Adonis off the market.

It was easier to think about him if I referred to him as anything not his name. It hurt still, but not as much as it would have.

Back on point though, it was lunch time and normally I sat at the Cullen's old lunch table—wishing that one day they would come back to the school, to me. As I walked into the cafeteria today, I looked around. My eyes immediately fell to _their_ table, but I averted them and found Angela and Ben sitting at a table in the center of the room.

As I headed towards their table everyone, who could see my actions, had fallen silent as I made my way. To a lost friend, when I got caught up with that family of Gods and Goddesses. I was crazy for thinking they wanted me. As I sat and looked at Angela, my eyes filled to the brim with unshed tears.

She had immediately pulled me into a relieved hug and held me as the tears fell. Angela and Ben were there for me. Cared for me. Even when I dropped them like a piece of garbage. "Thank you, Angela…"

I sat like that for a few minutes and let the tears dry up before I pulled away, and smiled a genuine smile at her. I sat there for the entirety of lunch and ate all my food. Amazing what good company can do. "Bella, how have you been?"

I glanced up at Angela, after pushing my empty tray away, and shrugged. "I don't honestly know. I hurt every time I am reminded, I cry at the faintest thought of his name, and I'm confused at something Lauren had said."

"What did Lauren say?"

"She said that I was more of a freak now that my controlling boyfriend and his family was no longer guiding my way." I frowned and looked down. "Is it true? Did he control me and play with my emotions…?"

Angela looked conflicted in answering that, so she turned towards Ben—who was always more outspoken but honest. "Yes, Bella. He used you, controlled you, had his fun with you, and dropped you when he was bored with you. You were addicted to his presence and you are going through the withdrawal. And it gets worse as you hold on to his pathetic ass. You need to change the way you think of him, the way you cling to his memory. You'll find better, you'll have better. And he will regret leaving you."

Angela was staring shell-shocked and impressed, but was nodding her head in agreement. I am of the belief that I was looking just like Angela was. And this was the first step to healing. I just knew it was; and I hope Alice was watching my future, and that Edward was seeing through her mind.

I smiled tentatively and spoke quietly, as if speaking louder would break her newfound serenity. "Would…you two help me? Please? I want to be better. Better than I am now, better than I used to be. Someone who is just better."

Ben looked at Angela, and when I looked over, she smiled and grabbed my arm. "Of course, we will. We will have to ditch the last part of the day, but it'll be totally worth it. Ben, stay here and grab our homework, please? This just needs a girl touch, that's all."

When the lunch period was over we left the school altogether—Angela leaving Ben behind with a kiss. We ran over to her car, and hopped into it, she began blasting music and bobbing her head as we drove to Seattle—which had the bigger shopping centers. For the first time in a long time, I was feeling happy and excited over something.

When we got to Seattle, Angela grabbed my arm, "First, you need your hair styled. It's beautiful long, but change the color, and bring out those natural highlights more! Then clothes and accessories shopping!" She stopped to think for a second, before grinning. "And a class on getting over a deadbeat guy! Let's go, we've got ourselves a busy day!"

First, we went into a Salon, and we got pampered for an hour or so. At least that's what it felt like to me. We got manicures and pedicures, we got our hair done—colors and style, and then we got a massage. I was in heaven, and just now realized what I missed out on. While getting pampered, the Salonists and Angela gave me good advice to get over this break up. Then, we went clothes shopping. It most definitely wasn't the horror, that was Alice Cullen. But way more energetic and upbeat, with Angela. We got a bunch of miniskirts, crop-tops, skinny jeans, tank tops, dresses, and blouses. Finally, we went accessory shopping. That seemed to also involve the shoes, which varied in style and color as well. It seemed the accessories included were makeup, pantyhose, stalkings, socks, lingerie, bathing suits, and much, much more.

I was feeling better and different as the day went on, and I knew without a doubt that there was a few more things I needed to get done. "Angela, I know it's late but can we stop at a furnishing store? I want to order a carpet for my room, and buy new bed coverings, as well as pillows and a cushion for my rocking chair."

She smiled knowingly, and said she knew the best place. And soon we got into the car, the trunk filled and the backseat area nearly completely full. I didn't know that we shopped this much, but it was a welcomed reprieve from the girl I used to be.

Once done in that store, we decided to head back to Forks. After a few hours of driving we finally pulled up in front of my house. "Angela, once we finish unloading the car, you need to give that boyfriend of yours a hug from me. You're a godsend."

I smiled when we got everything into the house. "Thank you, so so so much Angela." I said while squeezing her in a tight bear hug.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hope It Gives You Hell**

Chapter 2)

It was only six 'o'clock in the evening when I was dropped off so I went upstairs to my room and started moving the furniture out to the hallway. When all the furniture was out, and I started sweeping the floor, I stubbed my toe on a loose floor board. I had never seen this board loose, so I bent down and lifted it up. I found myself extremely annoyed with what I found. I picked it out of the cubby hole and threw it all into the garbage can. No point in keeping any of it. I'm not talking to my mom at the moment, and I don't want anything from the Cullen's.

Shortly after that, I had cleaned up the floor and laid down the new rug for my room. It was a midnight blue, that matched the cloudy white color of my walls. After laying the carpet down, I rearranged my room. I placed my bed by the window, so I could enjoy the stars and moon. My dresser went in one corner of the room while my rocker and it's new pillow was kitty-cornered in the opposite corner. Then I removed all of my old clothes—except my sweaters and pajama pants, out of my dresser. I replaced those, with the new ones. On top of my dresser, I placed my makeup, curling iron, and straightener. And I hung a long mirror up on my wall.

My room was finally starting to look like a girl's room.

I finally put my computer desk in between my dresser and the rocker, and fixed my computer equipment up, finally taking out my microphone and video camera out of its box. It was finally starting to begin looking like my room again.

As I looked at my clock, I realize that it is eight 'o' clock at night and that my dad should be home soon. I finally made my way downstairs and to the kitchen, where I started prepping the chicken to make Fried Chicken Parmesan. It was almost finished when my dad walked in. "Hey, dad." I smiled at him as he hooked his belt on the coat rack along with his jacket. I walked over to him and gave him a brief hug. I was feeling so much better now that I'm moving around again.

"Bells? How are you doing?" He asked as he sat at the kitchen table, that I was setting. "It smells delicious by the way. Jake and Billy will be stopping by for the game that's on." I groaned. Jake has been a lovesick puppy ever since he heard of my disastrous break up. And when he started getting a fever and then began avoiding me weeks ago, I gave up on seeing him. So seeing him now, just brought out an anger that I didn't know I had. I embraced it, because it meant I was feeling something.

"Great, dad. Just what I want. A dog in the house, that follows me around." I knew the Quileute Tribe Secret. See I wasn't barely conscious when Sam found me in the woods. I was fully aware, I heard his howl, and then his shift, I seen him getting dresses and picking me up. That's when I fell unconscious. His body heat luring me to the land of the sleep.

It wasn't that I hated Jake for dropping me. It was that he didn't tell me why, and now he probably expects to waltz right back into my life. Like Edward. Like the Cullens. Like my mother. All stupid. All gone.

I only have my dad. Ben and Angela. Myself. I'm still here. They're still here. We are smart. We aren't leaving, and vanishing. We are together. I have what I need. Not what I want.

I know. I know everyone is still in danger. Victoria is still out there. I still don't know what I want to do. I think I'll talk to Angela and Ben about their plans. I'm done with this place. I need a fresh start. But not until I graduate.

I had to warn the wolves about the danger of Victoria. I had to make sure my dad was safe. I had to make sure my life continues, but more peacefully. Screw the Cullens. Screw vampires and wolves. Screw everything, honestly.

As I was throwing my own mental pity party, I had allowed myself to pull the meal out of the oven and to walk up to my newly furnished room. It was refreshing. It was new. It was a change. It was life. I walked over to my dresser and grabbed my new iPhone 6 plus, and noticed I had a missed call from my mother and several texts from Angela and Ben.

All checking on me, but only the latter really caring. My mother was a child. And Phil, just spoils her. It's disgusting. I need to stop with this nonsense. I need to get dressed and go down to get the door.

With that I walk over to the closet and grab a pair of leather skinny jeans, a black tank-top, and a leather jacket to put on. I put very little make-up on—eyeliner and mascara, with a light tinted lipstick. It looks amazing.

Downstairs the doorbell rings, and I pull on my black combat boots before running to the door to open it. "Hello Billy. Jake." I nod my head at the two and retreat into the house, letting them in. It's hard looking at them. But I ignore my feelings, and I grab my plate from the counter to eat.

While I sat in my chair eating, I could feel someone staring at me. So, I lifted my head up, with a glare in my eyes. My eyes caught the eyes of Jake. Jacob Black. My old Sun. My old best friend. My old confidant. I let my anger enter the glare, until he lowered his head. _About time stupid wolf_ , I mutter.

I could _hear_ his head snap up as I finished muttering my sentence, but I simply ignored him. After I took the last few bites of food, I stood up and walked over to my dad. "Dad, I'm going into the backyard. Just holler if you need me."

I exit the house through the back door and sigh, it is such a beautiful night. No more tension. No need for the sun, when I have the moon. No there is no need for either, for I have the oxygen. I listen to the leaves flutter in the wind, and howls of the wolves in the distance—not of danger but of having fun, and I also can smell the wilderness. But my bubble is burst. Jake followed me outside.

"Bella…how do you know?" He sounds nervous. Even scared. Like I was going to tell anyone. For Christ sake, I dated a vampire. I didn't tell anyone then, why would I tell anyone now. I know it's because of the Cullens that the wolves have phased. It said so in the Quileute Mythology and Legends book I read.

 _ **The spirit-shifters only shift when the cold ones are around. When there is a threat to their home.**_ That's what it said.

"I read it. In a book. About Quileute culture. Don't worry. I won't say a word. Black, why don't you just leave me alone. You didn't want me a few weeks ago, why do you want me now? I don't love you. Not like that. Go follow someone else around like a lost puppy." I snap at him. And stand up, preparing to walk away from him. "You just about told me yourself, when I asked you to tell me the legends last year. Go away. I don't need you anymore. Tell Uley to expect me." I walk back through the back door and as I pass my dad, I press a kiss to his head with a "Goodnight dad, Billy."

Heading up to my room, I think it's high time to sit down and talk to my dad about plans. After lying in bed, thinking of the future, she started to nod off to the lands of sleep while she heard a wolf howl. It was close to her house, meaning it was probably Black. And with that thought, she let the comfort of darkness take her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hope It Gives You Hell**

 **A/N: I'm very sorry for not posting sooner, it's taken me close to four months to gai my muse back—enough to write that is... It's been difficult, but I hope that I can continue my stories without much difficulty... but only time will tell. I hope you enjoy.**

Chapter 3)

It had been two weeks, since I started to piece my life back together. Since I started to move on from Edward's influence on me, and gotten rid of the love-sick puppy. They both really pissed me off. One tried to control me, and the other was obsessed with me... I don't understand why it even is happening to me.

I've met with Laraunt at the meadow, why did I even think it was a great idea to travel through the woods by myself? This had happened the day after, I seen Jacob. I was so pissed at the vampire, and didn't even notice the wolves coming up behind me. I guess I distracted Laraunt as well because he seemed surprised to suddenly have a black wolf attack him.

More disturbing is the fact that Victoria is out to kill me. Despite the fact that I am not, nor will I ever be Edward's mate. You don't just leave someone you love! Telling them they arent worth your time, and that you don't love them.

 _Mate for a mate, Laraunt said. BASTARDS!_

Now, I guess it is time to talk to Dad about my future plans. Maybe I can graduate early and leave, and attend college out of this state? And then talk to Ben and Angela, see what they have planned. Then I will make my way down to the reservation and find Samuel Uley and the Pack.

I just wish things would-

"Bella? What are you doing home so early, don't you have work?" My dad asked from the door way. I smiled slightly, and beckoned him to come join me at the kitchen table.

"Dad, I need to talk to you." I said seriously, and looked him in the eye. "I can't stay in this state, dad. It isn't healthy. I'm not saying I won't ever return, I am just saying I need some time away."

His eyes had misted over, as he heard me speak and I know this will hurt him. But he'll understand. He always does. "Why, Bells? What about school? Where are you going?"

I smile slightly, "Dad, I plan on finishing both my Junior and Senior year this year. So, I'll be quitting my job and doing extra studies, so I can do that. Afterwards, I'm headed out to the East Coast, I think." I tilt my head in thought and look over at my dad. "I honestly don't know, dad."

He looked torn, I was doing it again. Being selfish...but this time, for a good reason—I think. But as I watched him think over everything, I see that he starts to come to terms with my decisions. He nods his head. "I have a few conditions, though, Bella." He sighs and runs a hand over his face, "You call once a day, and you keep your grades good. Don't get into trouble, and explore all of your options."

I smile, and nod my head. "Of course, dad. I'm sorry." I get up and walk around the table to give him a hug, before walking out of the kitchen and up to my room.

 _Now, Isabella Marie Swan, it is time for you to do right by yourself. Shed all of your old life._

 _Nicknames. "_ Bye-bye Bella."

 _Ex-friends. "_ Fuck off, Cullens and Black."

 _Ex-boyfriends. "_ Hope to never see you again, Edward."

 _This house..._ "I will still come to visit it, all the time."

I changed into my nightclothes and then sent a text message to Angela and Ben, asking to meet at the Diner at eleven.

As soon as I sent the text I had lay down and slowly drifted into a deep sleep, where my dreams were plagued by giant wolves and vampires. I didn't know if I could, or should, consider them nightmares or my fucked-up life.

When I awoke the next morning at nine, I didn't remember any of the dreams I had the previous night. Although, it did feel as though a weight had been lifted off of my chest and like the 'open wound' on my heart was finally beginning to heal.

As I groggily got out pf bed and walked to my dresser to grab clothes as well as a fresh towel and headed towards the bathroom, stubbing my toes on the door frame in my tired state. As I showered, I hummed a few songs that I heard in Angela's car. Actually, enjoying the tunes and feeling more awake as the time went by. I stepped out of the shower after washing and conditioning my hair, as well as scrubbing my body clean. I quickly dried off and got dressed, taking my time with doing my make-up so that it would look good.

As I walked back into my room to hang up my towel and put my dirty clothes in the hamper, I turned towards the mirror and whistled when I saw how I looked.

 _I look fucking hot. Why didn't I dress like this around Edward?_

He was such a prude. That is why. Never letting me touch him more than holding his hand, and never anything more than a few pecks on the lips.

 _IT WAS SO AGGRAVATING!_

I need to relax. Time to go make food, seeing as cooking is the only thing that helps me relax at the moment. What to make? Pancakes, eggs and bacon?

 _Mmm...sounds delicious. I cannot believe I would have forgone food for vampirism. I am stupid._

I have got to get my mind off of vampires and shit for the day. I continued cooking and when finished I sat down and ate my small breakfast. It wasn't huge, because I was sure to order something at the Diner.

After cleaning up all of the dishes I had dirtied, I checked the clock and noticed the time.

 _No time like the present, to get my plans situated. Time to go see Ang and Ben._

I grabbed my phone off the counter and a sweater from the closet, and quickly put on my combat boots. Grumbling about sleeping in later than usual and not paying attention to the time. I ran out the door and locked it quickly as I hoped in the truck and pulled out of the drive.

After a five-minute drive I pulled into the parking lot, and parked next to Ang's dark-blue Volkswagen. Smiling, I climbed out of the truck, and looked towards the glass window, before walking into the Diner. I saw Angela waving me over to them and smiled.

I walked over quickly, and sat down in the booth across from them. "How have you two been, over break?"

"We've been great! We went on this date to this new restaurant in PA. The food is to die for!" Angela said animatedly, and I couldn't help but giggle along with her. "How have you been Bella? You look incredible. Way more healthier and completely different."

I looked out the window at the beat-up truck, and tried to gather my thoughts. "I have made some plans, and I'm going to follow through with them." She looked back at Angela, "Ang, I'm going to take the Senior tests at the end of the school year, and when I graduate I'm going to the East Coast. I want to be completely new. I think I don't want to be called Bella. Isabella or Isa, should suffice."

She looked shocked and looked me over, I knew that my eyes were a bit puffy from all the extra studying I have been doing at night, but due to my walking around and eating I'm looking healthier.

"Is that what you really want...Isabella?" She hesitated saying my full name, but I liked the way it sounded. I was beginning to love myself, the way it should've been from the beginning.

I nodded my head. "Positive. Charlie knows. You guys know. I'll be going to the Reservation around graduation. I'm going to change my life for the better, and if it means moving to heal, I'm doing it."

Our conversation was put on hold as the waitress came around to our table, "Is there anything I could get you?" I looked at the menu and frowned. No more salads. I need meats.

"I would like your Bacon Cheeseburger, with a side of vinegar-covered curly fries, and a chocolate milkshake. Please?" I said.

The girl nodded her head and turned to the two.

"I'll take the Chicken salad, with a bag of chips to the side, and a glass of Pepsi." Angela ordered, in her quiet voice.

Ben denied wanting food, stating that he had ate a hearty meal this morning with his family. I smiled, and watched the waitress walk away. "So, when will we see you?" Ben asked when we were alone again.

"Whenever I can make it up here."

We spent an hour eating and chitchatting about our plans. Angela and Ben are going to Georgetown for college. Ben is going for Law School, and Angela going for Law Enforcement and Medical Training. The pair are going to do great things. I'm proud of them.

As the time to go home draws closer, I stand up and pull Angela into a hug. "Thank you. For everything. I'll make sure to stay in contact, when I leave. You're the best person I could have ever met, Ang." Stepping back I looked at Ben and smiled, "You better take care of her, or I'll grab my dad's rifle." He chuckles and pulls me into a hug.

"Always, Isabella."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hope It Gives You Hell**

 **A/N: Hello, my lovely readers, I have updated this story and** _ **Family First**_ **; and will be working on typing up a chapter for** _ **Iniquitates Per Dominum Et Tempus**_ **. I sincerely hope my readers will go and check out my other stories. Thank you, all, for reading and sticking with this story.**

Chapter 4)

After my conversation with her Angela and Ben about my upcoming plans, I threw myself into my schooling with so much vigor that everyone who saw my grades and the class schedule, knew that I was planning on graduating earlier than my entire year. And they just thought that it was because of the Cullens' departure that threw me into becoming a workaholic.

Weeks passed, with tests being aced and classes being passed. Money was being saved in an account, and I knew dad was putting some of his paychecks in the account every payday. I appreciated it.

The weekends passed with homework, and spending time with Angela and Ben. At this point they were the closest people to me, and I don't think I'd ever be able to lose contact with them. This is what I would've given up, just to be a vampire. Just to be with that Bastard, who so easily manipulated me. I was weak. But not anymore.

The school year was finally coming to a close, and I felt the weight of my plans land on my shoulders..

Graduation, which is in a few days, would be the last time I would see my friends and my dad util after college, and possibly longer. I haven't a clue what I wanted to do afterwards. What I did know, was that I'd always come home. Home, where my dad was. Simply because I would miss it, and him.

Anyways, as my thoughts drift to the rest of my plans that need to be finished whilst still in Forks, I prepared dinner. Just a simple Lasagna, with butter-garlic bread, and chocolate brownies for a snack.

I heard the door open, and the tell-tale sound of the Officer Belt land on the floor in the living room, before my dad stepped through the kitchen doorway. "Bells, it's great to see you. How was your day? What else do you need to do?"

"Dad!" I set the pan back on the stove top, and walked around the table to give him a hug. Yes, a hug! We've gotten less awkward with emotions, and it's been a relief. "Welcome home, dad. It's been good. And, I just need to stop on the Rez and say good-bye to some friends."

Charlie looked up at her, slightly startled, "I thought you and Jake got into an argument? That's why he's avoided coming over." I nodded my head.

"I have more friends, other than Jacob, on the Rez." I started to dish out some food, "And good for him.. How's Billy?" I placed the dishes on the table, and sat down to eat.

Dad took a bit, and smiled, after swallowing his mouthful, "This is delicious as always. Billy is good. Actually, he asked about you the other day. Anyways, how many scholarships do you think you'll have?"

As the conversation switched from the Rez to schooling, I could feel the tension leave my body. I was worried about my meeting with the pack, but that is to be expected-especially going into unknown territory, and because I used to be around Vampires. I knew I wasn't going to have a good reception.

After dinner and a long shower, I went to bed and dreamed of several scenarios and encounters with the wolves. Each one getting more gruesome than the last. Eventually, I sat up in bed and marked it off that sleep was a lost cause. I looked at the clock, and noticed that it was six 'o' clock in the morning.

With a sigh, I climbed out of bed and walked over to my closet. I drew out a pair of skinny jeans with rips on them, a black crop top and a leather jacket. I also went to my dresser and grabbed out a matching set of turquoise, and lacy, underwear and bra.

As I got dressed, I heard my dad moving around downstairs. Apparently, dad had an early work day. I opened the door and shouted down the hall and staircase, "Have a good day at work, dad!" I got a grunt and a swift good-bye before a door slammed shut.

After getting dressed, I curled my hair and put on light makeup. I looked at the recent tattoo I got on both sides. Tributes to my struggles and injuries, whilst being friends with Vampires. There was also a tattoo that outlined the teeth on my arm, to show that I survived being bitten. There were quotes, and on one side there was a dark tunnel that had a light at the end of it. On the other side, there was a wolf and a vampire fighting each other. The wolf was bleeding, and the vampire had an arm and leg torn off. It was very interesting, to look at. All details looked realistic.

That was definitely going to throw the wolves for a loop. I looked at the clock, one last time before heading downstairs and making a few things for a peace offering. ' _Since they are so tall, and muscular, they probably need a lot to eat._ '

By the time I left the house, it was already noon, and I had several trays of food in the back seat of the car. I sighed to myself, I could feel my nervousness boiling beneath the surface and my fear of their actions. Before I could back out of this last plan, I pulled out of the driveway and headed straight for the Rez. The less time I gave myself to think, the less time I could give myself to give up.

I had already known where the Uley house was, and was surprised at how quickly i found myself staring up at the two story house. I breathed in deeply, and opened the door. Squaring my shoulders, I grabbed the food trays and walked up to the front door. As I moved the trays onto one arm and balanced them, my other hand was already moving up to give three succinct knocks, and then there was a heavy pair of feet walking towards the door.

I shifted the trays again, and sighed with trepidation. ' _This is not going to be fun..Why am I so nervous?!_ '

The door flung open, and there stood the alpha. He looked down at me. "Who are you?" He glared, and I steeled my resolve.

"Isabella Swan. I have some things I need to discuss with you and your pack. I brought food, and then I'm leaving." I said in a cool, tired voice.

His eyes widened a bit, but he kept an eye on her as his head tilted slightly. Before he turned back to her fully, "Let's go to the kitchen, Isabella. I'll take the-"

"No need. I can carry them." I roll my eyes at the man, and walk past him and down the hallway, where a low hum of voices were coming from.

As I entered the door, with food filled arms, the entire room fell silent. I smirked, slightly and walked over to a counter-which was right beside Jacob. When he opened his mouth to speak, I glared at him. I really didn't want to hear his voice, I was still pissed at the wolf.

"Don't you dare speak to me, Jacob Black. I'm here to speak to the pack as a whole, not just you." The glare was getting harsher, and the wolves were watching in fascination. Of course they all knew who I was. I was the Vampire Girl, I hung out with vampires. I wasn't about to let them walk all over me.

"You've changed, Bella." And before I could stop myself, my hand whipped out and made a smack sound. And everyone had gasped, as soon as her hand made contact.

I stepped back, body moving into a more protective stance, "Black, you have NO right, none, to tell me how much I've changed. And do NOT call me Bella. You don't have that right, either." I watched as his body shook, and a loook of anger crossed his mind. "Grow up, and get a handle on that anger, boy. I've spent a year, a fucking year, running with a coven of vampires. I don't need a wolf causing anymore gaddamn damage."

The other wolves watched in horrific, fascination as I straightened out of my stance and turned to them with a pleasant smile on my face.

"Jacob, leave the girl alone." Same said, after getting over his shock, and his eyes caught mine. "Isabella, what did you need to tell us?"

Smirking, I grabbed a muffin out of a tray and bit into. I chewed and swallowed the bite before answering him. "Samuel Uley, Alpha of the La Push pack, I wish to tell you of my year with the Vampires. And tell you of the threat that remains."

That caught the attention of the wolves. A threat needed to be dealt with. And so I began. I told them about my meeting of the Cullens at school, and how Edward disappeared for a few days. Then, I told them about meeting Carlisle and Esme, and the baseball game-where the nomads came into the picture. James, Victoria, and Laraunt. I gave them a description of them all, and got many looks of shock. I gave them a look, to keep them silent, and continued with the story.

I told them about James' hunter instinct, and about the fight with Charlie to protect him, as well as giving Rosalie and Esme some of my clothes-so they could carry my scent in the opposite direction. Then I told them about the escape to Phoenix, and the vision Aice had, and the call that followed the Vision. I talked about how I fell for the trick, how I tricked Jasper, the Pathokenetic, and Alice, the Subjective Psychic, into thinking I had to use the restroom.

And, finally, I told them about the Dance Studio. Everything. Walking into the trap, standing up against James, using pepper-spray to stun him, then the throwing around and broken leg i received, and about the bite that James gave me. At that point I pushed up my sleeve and showed of that tattoo. "Yes. It's cold to the touch." Was the reply she gave, when asked. And then I told them about Edward sucking the venom out, with Carlisle and Alice guiding his actions; while Emmett and Jasper took out James. About how Esme and Rosalie remained behind to watch over Charlie.

And then I finished out the year, with the Cullens' celebrating my birthday and then a few days later leaving. "The threat remains in the last living member of the coven. Victoria."

"What of the red-head? What threat does she bode? Laraunt was the one we destroyed in the field? What were you both talking about?" Sam asked, as the wolves turned to look at him. My eyes, reached his and I smirked.

"He was talking about Victoria wanting to get revenge on the Cullens. And to do that, was to kill the mate of Edward." I rolled my eyes. "Sadly, she's mistaken. A mate cannot leave it's mate, unless it's what's needed. And in this case, it wasn't." I looked out the window with a frown, "She will try to kill anyone who gets in her way. She is a threat. Remember her description, because I won't be in the state for more than week after graduation."

I could feel all their eyes on me, but one set was boring into my back with such intensity that I tensed and growled out, "Jacob Ephraim Black, glare at something else." And the glare was gone. My eyes turned back and met Sam's-cold, steady chocolate against warm, liquid coal.

"You're leaving? Why?" His steady voice asked.

"Because, I need to get out of this area for a bit. I plan to go to school, and find a career, before returning." Was the stiff reply.

He nodded his head and turned towards the wolves, "As the Cullens are out of town, we shall cover the town of Forks, as well. We will do that until there is no threat anymore. You'r father will be well protected."

I nodded and turned towards the other wolves. "I hope you all remain safe and whole. I'll see you all, when I return home." I looked them all in the eye, to show my sincerity in my statements. As my eyes landed on the third biggest man in the room, my breath left me. ' _Not again, I've got to go._ ' I didn't even realize I had slammed my eyelids shut and turned away from the wolf. I grabbed one more muffin, before meeting Sam's eyes. His eyes filled with a knowing pain, "I need to go. I need to pack, and prepare for school."

And I ran from the house, ran from the male that had caught my eye, and ran from this aching pull in my chest. I got into my car and felt a sharp tug on the unexplained cable, that was attached to my heart. I glanced up and saw a wolf burst out the back door and into the woods, with a howl of pain. It was a grey, and silver, wolf.

I pulled out of the Uley's driveway, and forced myself to return home. It was late evening, and I didn't feel the need to cook, so I called for a delivery of pizza and wings. After making the order, I walked to my room and pulled out my duffle bags to put my clothes in.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hope It Gives You Hell**

Chapter 5)

As I sat in my car preparing to leave, I thought about the grey-silver wolf that I almost always spotted around me. I couldn't help but feel bad, the connection I felt to him pulled harder and harsher with every mile I put between us.

I looked out of my car window, and watched the wolf stand there. It's eyes looked broken and tortured. ' _I was hurting him, like the Cullens hurt me..._ ' was on of thoughts going through my head. I put my car in park, before climbing out and walking to the wolf slowly.

I wasn't stupid. You don't startle anything that is stronger than you, because you'll end up hurt. I waited with baited breath as the wolf watched my slow movements, and it started to lay on the floor.

I finally reached the wolf, and I finally felt the relief in the bond. ' _This was definitely going to be harder to do.. I must do it though._ ' I looked the wolf in the eyes, and smiled sadly. I lifted a hand and placed it on the bridge of his snout. "I'm sorry... I know you're in pain. I feel it, too. I need to do this, though. When it's time for me to come back, I'll make sure to see you. Don't stop phasing, and don't do anything stupid. That goes for all of you, wolves. Be safe." I felt a tear roll down my face as I stood back up from my crouch. "I've got to go now. I don't even know you, yet I'll miss you. Goodbye."

I turned and ran back to my car quickly. I immediately started it, before pulling out of the driveway and heading out of town.. soon to be heading out of state- and across the country. As I was turning the corner, I watched my wolf disappear into the woods, and a heartbroken howl break through the wind. It was soon followed by more consoling howls. I felt they were meant for the both us, so I smiled sadly and picked up more speed as I merged onto the Thruway.

I cranked the music up and got lost in the driving. Hours later I had made a stop in St. Louis, MO. I used the restroom and ate as much as I could. The pull was really starting to bother me, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep much so I started driving again. Perhaps my body will get used to the pulling ache after I get situated in my dorms in Albany, NY. I was going to do my best. Get good grades, get a good job.

I finally made it Albany. It was a day before Freshman Orientation at the University of Albany. I had been driving for the past two days, and listening to music at high volume. It helped me to ignore my tiredness and the aching pull in my chest. ' _Christ...this shit fucking hurts. And, I'm tired as fuck. I hope my two roommates are quiet._ ' I pulled into the Parking Lot and found a parking spot that was close to my dorm-apartment.

I popped my trunk open, and grabbed a few of my bags. I reached into the side-pocket of my sports bag and fetched the key to the dorm. I closed my trunk and headed towards the dorm. It was mid afternoon and it seemed that my dorm-mates were up. ' _Thank God,_ _I'd have hated having to deal with night owls._ ' I twisted the handle and pushed the door open.

From what I saw as soon as I opened the door, I could tell I was going to like this place. It was going to be my 'other' home. I placed my bags beside the door, and then went back to my car to grab some of my boxes. I had to repeat my movements multiple times. I was completely oblivious to my dormmates watching me. I set the last box and bag down on the floor, stepped fully into the 'living room' and shut the door behind me.

I jumped as I heard someone clear their throat behind me. My tiredness and pain making me complacent, I turned and faced the three girls. They were all gorgeous, and looked completely different. The girl who cleared her throat had black curly hair and hazel eyes. She stood at about four feet and eleven inches. The girl to the right of her had white-blonde, straight hair and silver-gray eyes, and stood at about five feet nine inches. And the last girl had auburn, wavy hair and bright green eyes, and stood at about five feet six inches.

I smiled slightly, and gave a wave, "Hello, my name is Isabella Swan. Call me Isa or Iz. I'm majoring in psychology and physical education. Who are you all?" And then introductions were made.

The black haired girl introduced herself first, "Kellieann Toslov. Call me Kellie or Kells. I'm majoring in arts and photography."

The tall blonde went next, "I'm Amberle Foster. Call me Lee, or Amber. I'm majoring in history and physical education."

The last of the girls smirked and said, "I'm Catherine. If you call me Cathy, I'll get you back. You can call me Rain, Rine, or Cat. I'm majoring in arts and literature."

I nodded to each and then looked down at my belongings. "Would you all help me take these things to my room?" With nods of consent, and three trips, we managed to get all my belongings into my room. "I'll be out in the kitchen soon. I just have to unpack."

As I sat unpacking, I decided to give my dad a call. So as the phone was dialling, I opened up a few boxes and started placing things around my room. "Hello? This is Charlie speaking."

"Dad! I made it safely..." I then told him about my drive up here and then about my roommates, and finally told him that I was almost finished unpacking. "Dad, I have to go. Can you call Billy and let him know to Tell Jacob and his friends that I made it safely? Give Billy my number,too. I love you, dad. Bye." As I said the last word, I had put the finishing touches on my bed and looked at my alarm clock. It was six 'o' clock, and I was starving.

I walked out to the kitchen and looked in the cupboards and fridge to gather a few food ingredients, and then I began cooking. The scent of food must have called out to my new 'friends' because they came into the kitchen and sat around the table. We asked each other questions, and each of us had to answer the question.

After making and eating dinner, as well as getting to know my roommates, I went into my bedroom. I laid on my bed, the pulling ache was still there. But I was much to tired to do anything about it. All-in-all, the trip and night in this new place was rather decent.


	6. Chapter 6: AN

**Hello my lovely readers! I'm so sorry on the wait period since my last updates!**

 **You see, there have been a lot of changes in my life. Starting from Early July last year, and still Continuing.**

 **I feel I owe my readers an update, as to why they have been left without an update to the stories. OR why the last time I updated these stories, it seemed a bit rushed and what not.**

 **Back in July, of 2018, my then boyfriend, Ryan, asked me to move with him and his family. Until we could find a spot to try and settle down. We had only been talking for 2 months at that time, and I'm a huge risk taker—apparently. I told him I'd love to. We had a strong connection in the beginning of our relationship. We both loved to be outdoors and to hike and see new sceneries. Sadly, when we moved to Rio Rancho, NM we found out I was expecting a baby... that quickly made us stress out, rush our relationship.**

 **We couldn't hike as often as we loved to, we couldn't go to amusement parks or to the new trampoline place—that had just been built. We only had each other's promises... And the need to TRY to be a family. I was having difficulties finding a job, and so was he. The stress levels were high and excruciating.**

 **We moved, again. Shortly after finding that NM wasn't for us.. We landed ourselves in Amarillo, TX. It is beautiful there, but it was missing something. It didn't exactly feel like home. We were still staying with his family. We both finally found jobs. Admittedly, my job was little more than extra cash for bills and whatnot. He was paying the rent for our new home, which we got in December. We were both so stressed, and needing the comfort of a companion, that we failed to realize our relationship was falling apart. We'd found out that we were expecting a Baby girl!**

 **We thought about baby names for the longest of times. When we settled on one, was when things started going downhill. Ryan would stay out all night with his friends, he started to ignore me, and he was changing. I didn't want to break up, I wanted us to try for our daughter. It apparently wasn't meant to work out that way, because February 15** **th** **found me on a plane heading home to my family, in TN.**

 **He's not a bad guy... He just wasn't ready for the level of commitment meant for a family. He got scared off, and our relationship was nothing more than us sharing a bed and holding each other on our bad days. We both did not want to admit that we were losing our once, burning connection. We were holding onto something, that wasn't there. IT was just time to let go, and see what path we will find ourselves on. We are still friends, and talk whenever we feel like talking to each other—somedays, we never want to talk to each other. And I'm okay with that, right now.**

 **Our daughter will be born, within the next 14 days! We are both super excited, and can't wait for our precious daughter to be in our arms. Hopefully, one day we can come back together. With a stronger connection and a growth behind us, that makes it easier to discuss these sorts of things with each other.**

 **Anyways, that's the explanation behind such a long wait period. IT's very personal and stuff. But I owed my followers a true reason behind the lack of updates. I am NOT abandoning my stories. I just have not had time to put my thoughts to the keyboard. I plan to resume my writing once I have gotten into the routine of work, baby, sleep, and relax time. I'm sure it'll take a bit, but hopefully I will be back soon.**

 **Once again, I apologize for such a long wait time. I hope y'all aren't too disappointed that this isn't an update. Love, Lyssa135.**


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